so, “i am sam” is on the television. there is nothing else on. i dont want to watch it. i dont exactly recommend watching this movie when you have nothing to do. it’s easy to get depressed and hard to drag yourself out of it. what was that line from that song? “the lows are so extreme, that the good seems fucking cheap.” yeah. it’s like that. you’re put in a bad position. you know what’s right and what’s logical. but at the same time, you know what you want. you know what would make you really happy. a good, off example, i want to edit video all day. i want that to be my job. but i cant live off of the income that comes with that kind of work, and i’m not good enough at it to do it for a real movie studio. so, therefore i remain a sysadmin. i sit in my apt and read book after book and smoke cigarette after cigarette. drink coke after coke. sleep morning after morning. it’s really a vicious cycle. well, i wouldn’t call it vicious. it embraces you. it’s the most comfortable i’ve been all of my life. now there is NOTHING on television. so i’m watching this show about the hiltons on VH1. apparently, paris is putting out an album? twice i’ve heard her say, “working on my music”. i’m gonna quit there.